Music Codes Central
matthew.
18.
27031992.
MAD HIPHOP(:
dance.
person
backstabbers
mondays
Friday, November 6, 2009
for the first time this year.
i'm really, really worried.
observing the people in my division, i think i've confirmed my worst fears.
we're falling apart. like our seniors.
the pre-dance night excitment has disappeared long ago. now i get the feeling that people aren't as passionate about dance as before. maybe even to the extent that they find practising a chore.
and the fact that i need to sms that pracs are compulsory more or less shows this.
but attendance still sucks anyways.
i'm hoping it's just because it's a busy period for everyone, that it'd all go back to before after OP and all the fac outings are over.
though i have a nagging feeling it might not.
plus, we're not improving. most people are more or less the same standard the time of the auditions.
which is really, really, really bad.
k i guess that was exaggerating.
oh shit and there's pw. i think my group members are kinda mad at me. cos i didn't do anything much yesterday during the stayover. practically nothing actually. k i'll work harder for OP i swear.
and i feel so guilty when i see him everyday. and every time i see him break down, it's like a knife just went through my chest.
i could have, should have helped, but i just chose to stand there and watch as he fell. slowly but surely.
i could have lent him that helping hand that could probably have saved him.
why didn't i?
what kind of fucking friend am i?
and now look what's happened.
i don't think i even deserve to be called a human being now.
and i think i accidentally infected my dad's laptop with a virus. shit it's the first time i ever borrowed it and this it what i do to it. i just hope none of his important files get affected. otherwise he might be in big trouble.
i feel so helpless. so useless. what the fuck is wrong with me?
i'm going out of my mind again. screw this.
} posted @ 5:06 AM {